A Letter to Educators – From a Past Homeless, High School Student

As your kiddos come geared up for the first day of school, here are some things to consider. I know your work load is hard, but please take your time to get to know your students. Especially the ones who seem to be having a harder time. Here’s a bit of my story in which you could see some of the struggles youth face.

My freshman and sophomore years in high school are some of my best memories. I remember best friends, football games with the band, homecoming mums and garters, crushes, competitions, and salsa club. I was having the time of my life!

By the end of my sophomore year, my life had been flipped around and nothing was the same anymore. At the beginning of my junior year, I had to figure out how to care and provide for myself pretty much and I got a job out of necessity. For which I was then kicked out of band for. I had devoted so much time to band, learned two instruments and made every practice/game. But orientation was mandatory and so was practice. But i knew practice wouldn’t help me provide for myself or my siblings when they were with me, so work it was. The band director humiliated me and threatened to strip all my lettermen points away if I missed one practice. I tried to explain that they knew and approved me to have all Fridays off for games and would never make me work until practice was over, but it didn’t matter. In the end I was removed, having one more thing stripped away from me.

So because I didn’t have band anymore, I overworked myself. I worked way more hours then I probably should have but at least I could help buy food and things I needed for school. Sadly sometimes that also meant I fell asleep during class. That also meant I didn’t read like I should have, which my English teacher picked up on. So purposefully, she would call me out in front of others. My face would turn red as I heard the snickers from students who could focus on AP English instead of work. I went from loving English to hating it and soon decided to go down to a basic level English class. Why try?!

My junior year in high school I “lived” in 8 different places. I was being dragged around as my “parent” tried to figure out what they wanted to do. I never really lived in most of those places, as I kept my things in bags. The second to last place I lived, I hardly knew the adults I stayed with. I slept on their couch and I wasn’t allowed to eat their food. I couldn’t focus on my homework as many nights were filled with loud parties. I couldn’t even go to sleep at a good time, because of fear of those strangers being curious of a young girl on the couch. But I would wake up, find a way to school, and do what I needed to do. Eventually my “parent” got us an apartment and things were starting to feel normal again. I tried out for drill team and made it! I was on track to getting my senior year off to a great start, until I was homeless again. Before I knew it I was pushed out of my apartment and forced to live on my own. I moved to a different city. I enrolled into a new school and worked two jobs to try and provide for myself. I was exhausted but kept my gpa to almost a 4.0 with 0 absences.

I ended up moving back to Waco but still had to house share. I found out I was expecting 2 months before graduation. I was exhausted from keeping myself afloat and didn’t see a way, but this is where I share the good experience with my teachers. I had an amazing teacher that pulled me aside when she leaned I was expecting and made me promise I wouldn’t give up on myself. She said she wanted to see me graduate from college because she knew I could! Her words encouraged me when I was at my lowest. And another teacher, I’m not sure who, provided my name to a in school service that supports young moms in high school. They were able to help me sign up for a Doctor and figure out medicaid, which I was clueless about and had no assistance with. They wanted to make sure I still graduated and felt supported as a teen mom. And I did! I graduated with National Honor Society and the Work program cords.

I had so many other teachers in my life who meant so much to me. From my second grade teacher who knew I just needed to be hugged and would allow me to hug her as much as I needed throughout my day. To one of my teachers who most likely reported to CPS, though nothing was done, you still showed me you cared. To the freshman English teacher who believed in my writing so much that you put my writings into competitions, where I won 3rd in STATE! And her heart broke with mine when my parents decided it was too far of a drive to receive recognition at the Texas Ranger game. And the teacher I mentioned earlier, thankfully I still keep up with her through social media. I’m glad she got to see me graduate with honors from college. They saw me. When I was invisible to most, they saw me.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. This wasn’t a blog to say boo hoo look at my life. It was to shine a light on the situations that many students are facing. Not everyone has a stable life. That child who falls asleep on their desk, may be staying at a shelter and they may not feel safe enough to sleep there. The child that doesn’t smell so good, may not have running water or somewhere to wash clothes. You may never know what a child is facing, but please take the time to let them know they are seen. It can make such a difference in their lives. I know my life was forever changed because of the teachers who cared about me. And that’s why I’ll forever respect educators!

Waco ISD and most other districts have now put together programs to help aid the homeless population in students. By the standards released by Waco ISD, I was considered homeless most of my high school education, I didn’t know this. On their website they state:

“Homelessness is defined as having a lack of fixed, regular, and adequate nighttime residence and includes:

  • children or youth living in motels, hotels, trailer parks, or camping grounds due to the lack of alternative accommodations; are living in emergency or transitional shelters; are abandoned in hospitals; or are awaiting foster care placement;
  • children and youth who are sharing the housing of other persons due to loss of housing, economic hardship, or similar reasons;
  • children or youth who have a primary nighttime residence that is a public or private place not designed for or ordinarily used as regular sleeping accommodation for human beings;
  • children or youth living in cars, parks, public spaces, abandoned buildings, substandard housing, bus or train stations, or similar settings.”

I’m attaching the website that Waco ISD has created. There are so many recourses and information listed, please take some time to read them. If you see someone that fits this criteria, find a gentle way to introduce them to the right people and resources, like my teacher above did for me.

Every student deserves an education. Every student deserves to be seen. Every student deserves to feel safe.

https://www.wacoisd.org/Page/4131

I’ll never deserve it, but God doesn’t expect me to.

Man I’m just sitting in my prayer/worship time and I just have this overwhelming feeling that God is so good to me. No, I didn’t get a specific prayer answered. I didn’t have a big revelation, just something I felt. I can never be worthy of God’s love, grace, and mercy but yet he freely gifts it to me.

I should have failed, due to statistics of the world. I came from a broken home, homeless in high school, teenage mom/wife. Yet I’ve never failed, fallen yes, but never failed. He’s always been there to lift me when I needed and sent me plenty of people who will cheer me on and encourage me, teach me, and love me. Now I have a beautiful family, a fulfilling career. Thank you Jesus!

How can I ever stop praising his name for his goodness? Never. 2021 is going to be great, I can’t wait to see all the wonderful plans he has for me and mine. 🪴

2021 Word of The Year: Recovery

I’ve never joined in on creating a word of the year, but if I had to choosen one for 2020 it would’ve been healing. I know, crazy right? I agree. While this year brought on crazy times, a pandemic, a stay at home order, and me being out of work, it brought some much needing rest for me. I was able to dig in, still work with my therapist via zoom, and even did EMDR via zoom!! Thank God for technology.

I dove into the thoughts and unforgivness that kept me prisoner. I was able to heal in ways that I never felt possible. I know that it will be a constant upkeep, that’s already proven fact, but I am loving living a life not bound by depression and pain. The enemy tried to take me back just a month ago, but I refuse to fall captive to suicidal/depression thoughts again. I have found my strength inside of myself, through God!

So for 2021, recovery. Every wound, surgery, injury, requires not only healing, but a recovery period. So this year I will learn to reuse my muscles (figuratively speaking) and learn to live without pain. I will learn to love fully without trust issues. I will take pride in and value myself, without all of the verbal abuse comments playing in my mind. But just like recovery after injury, I will do what I need to do daily to obtain my healing. That for me is to dive even deeper into a relationship with God, family, and self. Along with my strategies I have put in place with the help of my therapist.

So as this year closes out, I will reflect on what a turning point it was for my life and my families life. Thank God that no weapon formed against me ever prospered!

So what is your word for 2021?

PCOS Strong!

After posting my last blog someone told me, “you don’t look like you have PCOS”. I took that as a compliment but I also wanted to touch on it.

No, some of the things I SEE other women who’ve been diagnosed with PCOS have, I don’t. It’s so different for everyone. AND I’ve worked my butt off to lesser my symptoms. When I was diagnosed, I was one number away from being diagnosed with diabetes. At just 27! I had dark pigmentation on my neck (still battle this a little) and about 3 big cyst ruptures a month. I changed my way of eating and cut out some of my most favorite foods. I got on a vitamin regimen that helped me. And I stayed active (thank you to all my clients who want deep tissue massage 😂). I can’t say those things will help everyone, but they’ve helped me so much in my journey. I still have so much to learn. I want to meet with an herbalist and a nutritionist to help guide me even more. Sometimes I feel so lost when looking up all the dietary needs.

But most importantly, I credit it all to God. From the moment I even thought I may have PCOS, I placed my health in his hands. I didn’t claim diabetes and I believe he helped me through that. Not only for me but for my two daughters as well, who I know will not have to deal with what I deal with. He’s the one who gives me strength on the days I have a ruptured cyst. I’m able to work and help others, but that doesn’t ease the pain I feel. But he’s also blessed me with a understanding husband and kiddos, so they know when I get home I HAVE to curl up and place a heating pack on my abdomen.

Bringing awareness to PCOS will help gain more understanding that not all diseases are visible. And it’s not the same for everyone. But I hope in sharing my story I can inspire other women to grab hold of their health and claim that God is bigger then any obstacle and disease.

I am PCOS strong, because my God is stronger!

PCOS Awareness Month

The month of September is a month that’s dedicated to the awarenesses of PCOS, polycystic ovary syndrome. To be able to highlight the day to day struggles, the confusion in our own medical field, and the hope for educating young girls as they grow into puberty age.

PCOS is a hormonal disorder that is present in about 1 out of 10 women. Most go untreated and undiagnosed because our doctors lack the knowledge to diagnose it. PCOS shows up in infertility, diabetes, severe vitamin D deficiency, obesity, and much more. But some doctors would rather treat the symptoms and not the underlining, huge, problem.

This is my story….

In 2017, I was officially diagnosed with PCOS. I felt a big sigh of relief, at least now I knew. But it wasn’t a quick journey to answers, it was one that started in 2009. And if I’m being honest it probably started way earlier then that. But I’ll start in 2009.

One day as I was leaving TSTC, I turned to reverse and I felt and heard a pop in my abdomen. I thought nothing of it and kept going with my day. By that evening I was curled up in a ball on my couch. The pain I felt in my abdomen was unbearable, I couldn’t even stretch my legs. Finally, Carlos convinced me to go to the ER. After running test and finally a CT scan, they were able to see that I had cysts on my ovaries. What I was feeling was the result of one of them rupturing. The doctor compared the size to a golf ball, and then proceeded to tell me my ovaries were covered with them. What is a cyst? Think of it as a big blister. But when it pops, you get no relief, you get extreme pain. I didn’t leave there with answers, nope only really good pain meds. I was told to follow up with my care provider. I had no insurance, so I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

For three years I dealt with the pain. I pushed through and finished school, found a job, and we decided we were going to try for another baby. It was during the removal of the mirena IUD that my doctor found something “unusual” during the exam and needed me to return for a biopsy. Even after that, I was left with no answers. They didn’t even call me back, I had to call them! They brushed me off as I’m fine. Months later, I was pregnant…I let it go.

After having my second child, I went back to the same form of birth control, the IUD. Not even a month later, the cysts were back. Then I came across a commercial saying that the mirena IUD was being linked to cysts. I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN and asked my questions. Again, I was brushed off. Assuring me that it was definitely not the IUD, but they could remove it for a pretty hefty fee. I passed.

After my second daughter turned one, I had it removed. The pain and discomfort was beginning to be to much for me. I wish I could say things turned for better after that, but actually it was much worse. Before it was removed, I had a positive pregnancy test. Every doctor I spoke to said I needed to have it removed immediately. I did and 2 weeks later, we lost that baby. I felt so guilty and it was such a hard loss. To top it off, the symptoms of ovarian discomfort were happening almost weekly. The pain in my lower back was debilitating. The hormonal fluctuations were driving me crazy. Nonetheless, I learned to just live with it.

In 2015 when I had became pregnant with my son, I was so happy! But that pregnancy was definitely the hardest. I was in pain and I bled pretty easily throughout that pregnancy, my midwives told me I had a “sensitive cervix”. Afterwards, still being in their care, I was able to pick up on things that just weren’t right. I had numbness in my face, hands, and arms. My feet would burn. I was going to my doctors office very frequently and trying to find the cause. We did test and more scans, and had nothing. It wasn’t until a very in depth blood test, that I found out I was severely vitamin D deficient. And shortly after that, I found out about the PCOS.

After the diagnoses, I started to do all the research I could. I learned that yes, the mirena IUD is not a good choice for someone dealing with a hormonal disorder. I found out what supplements I am more likely to lack. I found out what foods are worse for me and can cause inflammation. I learned about how even the products I use on me and toxins in the air, can effect me. All. Of. It. had to change! Its been a long process, but now I am down to MAYBE one cyst a month. I was able to bring my blood sugar level from high risk, to normal range. I still deal with pain and I still deal with certain things, like weight gain, but I believe that will balance out to. I’m grateful for the chance to learn and help my body. I chose no medications. I would rather have a healthier lifestyle by cutting out certain food and toxins.

But most of all, Im grateful that I get to teach my daughter. PCOS is already in her vocabulary. Not that we claim it, but that way she knows her chances are higher of being diagnosed (You are at a higher risk if your mother or aunt has been diagnosed.) I want her to be educated and prepared. But I also want her to embrace her power. She knows what toxins to avoid that can alter your hormones and endocrine system. She’s cautious of what feminine products to use (check out what’s in tampons!) She also knows what sugar can do for you and what foods cause inflammation. And most of all, what signs to look out for, because the earlier to detect it, the better!

This month I will share a few more blogs that highlights my battle with PCOS. I doesn’t defeat me! I don’t share because I just sit in it all day saying poor me, I am sure most of you wouldn’t even know when I have a cyst rupture. I share because I believe we should have a strong education for girls going into puberty about hormonal disorders. This is a sensitive topic for me, it’s vulnerable. At this point almost no knew about the miscarriage. But I share because I hope my story can help someone. And I am asking that you please share this blog, let’s spread the word!

It’s MY gift and I AM qualified!

My path to massage therapy, happened because God pushed me to it. I asked him to show me my purpose and he did! I knew that I wanted to specialize in prenatal and postpartum since before the first day of school. Not only because, I knew my own story having to deal with prenatal and postpartum depression and pain, but because I was just drawn to it. I was drawn to the feeling of caring for another women during such a vulnerable time.

When I had my children, I had a different postpartum each time. During my first we lived with my mother in law, and she did care for me. My mother in law, being from El Salvador, definitely helped me in ways I didn’t expect. She advised me to wrap my stomach, she made me wear socks 24/7 so that my feet couldn’t get cold. She made me caldos (soups) and drinks to help with milk supply. But I was still up and going like I did not just have a baby, like most. But because I was young, healing still came easily. On my second, I was more on my own. I don’t know if it was because of situational things or by my own deciding. I was up cooking the night we were home from the hospital, never resting. My postpartum and depression were the worst after that birth, and lasted for almost 3 years. With my final pregnancy, I had different care providers and I asked my mother in law to be more involved again. I was on bed rest for 2 weeks and my mother in law came to stay for a few days and then continued to stop in for weeks after. My healing was much better and my state of mind wasn’t as bad. My situation from my second pregnancy is the most of many women in the U.S.. Some are made to believe that we are stronger when we can do it own our own.

I began to take classes, buying books, and praying for the knowledge. My very first client I helped, assured me that I was doing what I was called to do. After that, my schedule (even in school) was filled with prenatal and postpartum clients, even being invited to attend a few births. I hold each client close to my heart. This isn’t just work, it’s love.

One thing that I love to do is read and learn from other countries on how they care for their family and friends who have not only given birth, but miscarried or terminated pregnancy. So when I became aware of a class that was happening online, I dove right in. This was a provider I found on instagram who has a beautiful, uplifting feed. I couldn’t wait and signed right up. From the very first class that was posted, I began to feel uneasy. But I kept attending, waiting for the knowledge drops. This provider was taught from her grandparents and it was an ancestral knowledge. I understood she couldn’t share it all, some is sacred, but I began to realize that I wasn’t going to learn anything that wasn’t from a book. The very first class made me realize I have no one to ask from my ancestors or heritage. My mother didn’t care for me, nor her mother for her. But this knowledge wasn’t brought to me in a caring way, it was brought to me in a way that made me feel unqualified. She made comments about people just wanting to learn to make money, and I understand that may be the case sometimes, but not for me. I wanted to learn from others because I knew I didn’t have my own family to learn from and I know I felt called to care for others.

Not only did it make me feel unqualified to do my hearts work in my business, but also with my own children. One night after class I cried and told my husband that I will not know how to care for my two daughters when they become mothers. Nothing he said could change my mind, it was set, I was unqualified. I was unable. I felt so lonely. The last day, during the live part of this class, I had so many questions prepared. But after an hour, this uneasy feeling in my gut wouldn’t go away. I logged off well before the class was over. I sat there in silence until my husband asked me if it was over. “No. I just couldn’t do it anymore.” is all I could say.

When I finally got my thoughts together, I realized what was happening. I felt the urge to get off and fast! It wasn’t me, it was God. I trusted this person to help me grow, but instead I let myself get fed lies. I allowed myself to sit in such a negative space. I let someone else demote me and belittle me of what God had already qualified me for. I allowed this person to make me unsure, even that I could care for my own daughters. I’m sure she didn’t mean this, but it’s what her words did. I had to realize it doesn’t matter what I didn’t have growing up, I have God and I have this gift. It’s mine and I hold it sacred. Never will I let someone else make me feel undeserving of it.

All this to say, please be watchful of who you let into your space. Not everyone wants to help. Some want to damage. Some have such a negative space, that it’s all they can share. Don’t easily trust someone because they call themselves “teacher”. Pray for discernment on who you should trust, because I believe he does give that gift of teaching as well. And I can’t wait to keep learning from them!

What am I worth?

This morning I woke up feeling down. And I’m sad to say that I sat in that for a bit. I focused on my blogs, who reads them? Who see’s them? I thought about other things. I feel that I am always less then, it’s something that I have always battled. Thank God for my husband who helped me refocus. I have a great family, successful business, a personal blog and blog I write for, and a gift. Then he told me something that he always does: “just keep writing”.

So I am doing just that! As I sat in my quiet time, I heard this song come on and was reminded how much God loves me. As I sat in that stillness, I started to think how much it must make God sad to hear or see us feel “less then”. He created us with so much detail, with so much love and here we are criticizing ourselves. When He completed me and you, I’m sure he stopped marveled at his work. He yearns for us to look to him and love him, but only because he loves us so much and wants to bless us.

So the next time we look into a mirror and want to start looking down on ourselves, remember your creator. Thank him for each part of your body, this is what I am going to start doing! When you feel talentless or ungifted, ask him to show you what gifts he knitted into you! Don’t look to others to feel worthy. When you feel less then, remember how much purpose was thought into you. Remember, he loves you so very much!

Let’s be loud for Vanessa Guillen

TRIGGER WARNING 

 

I debated on sharing this, but I feel that it needs to. It’s a part of my story, and that’s why I have this blog. This week my anxiety has been so high. I haven’t been sleeping well, and when I do, I have nightmares. After some praying and digging deep, I realized why.

Vanessa Guillen. I kept up with the missing person reports of her since the beginning, I watched the press releases and heard her family cry for her return. They also brought to light what Vanessa had told them was happening to her, they were her voice! Of course, no one wanted this very sad ending, but yet here we are; mourning.

I don’t know her, but I mourn her. As a sex abuse survivor, I look up to her. She had the courage to come forward, or she was about to. She wanted to show the person involved that they didn’t have power over her. She decided silence wasn’t the option. But, that chance for justice was taken from her alongside her life.

Now, they are passing laws to better protect women who serve in the military, but why wasn’t that already the case? Man or woman shouldn’t be the subject of someone’s disgusting, targeted abuse.

But let’s dig a little deeper, why is this not the case for everyone? I see it all the time, abusers getting off with barely a slap on the wrist. Or even worse, adults failing a child after they know what’s happening. Which was my case. Police officers not taking someone serious, also my case. People thinking they can pray the abuse away, also my case. Why couldn’t anyone help me?? And I know there are so many others like me!

I’m afraid this will make victims stay quiet again. That all of that old generational thinking of, “we have to keep it to ourselves”, will come back! But let’s fight it! Let’s yell even louder and if it makes some uncomfortable, so be it!

I’m a Christian, I believe in God and the healing he can do. But sometimes, that healing can’t happen until you face what was done.  Forgiveness can happen, after you admit how you were wronged! And sometimes, you still need help. If you’re triggered or afraid, please seek help. Go to a counselor and talk. Let your friends know that you’re having a hard time, and most importantly pray.

BUT, let’s not be quiet! There is power in sharing! We owe it to people who have lost their lives because they spoke up! People like Vanessa!

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I Want a New Normal

I don’t want to be a cliche blogger, of course covering a well covered topic, makes me one just a little. But I seriously mean this! As life has changed so drastically for the world, it has definitely done so in our little world. And as I await the press releases on decisions made, on whether we will resume back to normal, I can’t help but feel I want a new normal.

I’ve enjoyed being with my family and helping my kids with their work. I’ve enjoyed going outside and working in my garden. Although I do have these things I’ve enjoyed, I can’t help but to notice the things I miss so deeply.

Like church.

Every time I stepped into my church building, I took it for granted. Being able to teach my kids from my Sunday school class. I took for granted being called by God to work for him and to show my love for him, by loving on these little children. In these crazy times I thank God for technology and still being able to see their little faces. But how I wish I could just give them a squeeze. And now I refuse to go back to that old “normal”.

Before this drastic change, I was in a rut. I’m going to be honest. Sometimes it’s hard to do ministry. I would leave most of the burden to my husband, but then complain that it was not the way I would do it. I didn’t take my responsibilities serious. I would choose work over my real job. I would cram lessons, not always but more than I should have. I wish I could go back and shake myself awake.

When I am given the chance, I am going to do my job with a new outlook. I will no longer take for granted the simplicity of gathering and learning together. I want to be and do all that I can to do my part, especially with my family (our first ministry) and all the little kiddos God trusts us with. I want to stay in this deeper connection with God. I realize we are the church, not the building. Now I want it to be part of my normal, thinking on what I am doing to show this! I never want to take this for granted again, and I won’t.

We all have a chance to start over. God shows us grace time and time again, it never runs out. Let’s not take that for granted.

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God Has Kept Me!

This blog is raw and may cause some triggers, so read on knowing there is a trigger warning.

For many years I didn’t necessarily blame God, but I asked questions that deep down, demonstrated that. Questions like, “How can you let this happen?”. Or “Why me?”, “Do you love me?”, “Am I important?”, “Why did you create me?”. I was truly hurt. Because of things I faced, I had fallen into a depression at such a young age. My heart and mind couldn’t understand how at every turn there seemed to be things like, mental/emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and abandonment. Suicidal thoughts became more and more frequent and I felt so alone.

You think that once I was an adult things would get better. I mean, I’ve cut off ties where I needed to. But no! Things still came rolling and because I’ve lived in the state of depression, it came back. I am married, I am a mother, I have a great career, I go to church! Why am I still facing this?

Than earlier this year, I decided to do something different. I went to see a therapist. I sat in a room with someone I just met and unleashed everything, from the beginning! I let out my hurts and opened up my wounds. She begin by telling me it’s not my fault. The things that have happened to me aren’t because I’ve earned them. Yes, somethings were a result of my choices, but not all. As she likes to say, “little Gracie didn’t do anything wrong”. I began to heal in a way that I truly didn’t think was possible.

Therapy helped me to see things differently. I learned how to cope differently. How to make new paths in my brain. I still battle, but it’s easier to overcome those. I’ve been in therapy for almost a year and really I can truly say, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. And I also thank God for giving my therapist the gift that she has and that our paths crossed. It also helped me see my relationship with God differently as well. I was able to see how he held me all of my life. How HE guided me to be the mother and wife that I am. I am able to live a stable and healthy life, because of HIM! He kept me from acting on the suicidal thoughts. He gifted me with children that I could love and they love me back. He gifted me with a husband who is truly growing to be the husband and father he created. He gifted me with my talents and gifts so that I could make a life I’m proud of and that my children could be proud of.

Therapy helped me to see that what I faced wasn’t because of my choices, but the choices of people who were unhealthy. It also helped me to realize that you can be a Christian and still need help. It’s not because you’re not praying enough or your giving in to depression, it’s because the makeup of your brain is different after you’ve faced trauma. PTSD isn’t only for veterans. I’ve learned that I’m strong because I sought out help and wanted this change, I’m proud of me. For the first time in a very long time I can say that and mean it. I’m proud of the wife and mom I’ve become. And I’m proud of my career! All that is possible because I put me first. I focused on my healing and tackled something that held me bound for so long.

God loves you. He keeps you. He’s for you. His plans for us are never to live in hurt and depression. It’s not his fault. It hurts his heart to see the ones who are supposed to love you, hurt you. That wasn’t his plan. And all of us deserve to heal, even the ones who’ve hurt me or you.

If you need help and don’t know where to start, please reach out to a health provider, a friend, me, anyone! I can help you with some recourses that have helped me. Remember, you weren’t in control of the circumstances that hurt you; but you can be the one in control of your healing.